Gazing into the pearl
“Pandora did you see the breadth of this forbidden beauty? Did you inhale the phantasmal froth that I welcome like an autumn draft? Mortal men were wrong to chastise you on your discovery; you are not a burden as they say. I peer into that box with confidence and curiosity, as you did, and I see nightmares the same as dreams.”
– excerpt from Dream Logue Two
I once had a dream in which a vengeful neighbor had basted the doorknobs and fixtures throughout my home with a hallucinogenic neurotoxin, obviously in liquid form. Apparently, by touching the doorknobs and other objects in my home during a normal routine, I had unknowingly allowed the substance to seep into my skin and render me confused and helpless. While the first part of the dream was filled with confusion and fear, and a struggle to figure out what was going on and who was responsible, there was an apex in the dream where I was gazing upon an insanely beautiful sunset… tinted with the odd miasmal colors of a sea-storm haze. To me, this entire dream – or nightmare if you wish to call it so – was a monument to the balance of the dreaming mind and how dreams can be so frightening and yet so beautiful at the same time.
While I intend to use an idea like this in a novel I am currently working on, this scenario has not inspired my poetry directly… However, the overall concept of a balance between fear and beauty does have a place in the majority of my more surreal poems. This is best expressed in poems like Noctivagus, Dream Logue Two, Dream Logue One and The Unwritten Quest. I enjoy this sort of ambivalence, for it keeps me excited while simultaneously liberating my mind from the mundane and the typical. You might say my writing tastes like a bitter opiate disguised in sugar… or, as I put it in Dream Logue Two, an “offering of adrenaline that swallows smoothly and tastes divine.” But I’ll let you decide.